Friends

You know when you just clique with someone?  When a friendship forms the instant a smile is shared?  When two people living separate lives, going about their own business, embracing their journey and then all of the sudden your paths cross... starts with messages, text, then phone calls, and meetings then it forms until what I consider a FRIENDSHIP.  Laughter, compromises, understanding???  --- then overtime life gets the best of us - burdens come in the way - our paths start to veer the opposite way but you try to not let it go - you see the value in it, you wont let go, you don't give up...you don't WANT to give up??? All of those emotions triggered for me yesterday and hit home last night.  

If you know me, you know I am what "some" like to call BLACK or WHITE --- ALL or NOTHING kind of girl.  I don't do HUGE NUMBERS of friendships, I find NO VALUE in that.  Either you are my friend, we are acquaintances, or I don't know you!  I have always felt like a friends placement in my life is special and NO MATTER what doesn't end if we hit that place.

Yesterday as four pregnancies of emotions played as a film strip throughout my body I received some of the most endearing text messages, emails, face book comments I could ever ask for.  I shared my story so people understand what it feels like because I have LOTS of people ask questions so why not share.  I smiled all day realizing how blessed I was with friends who some I haven't talked to in a while but they cared, they acknowledged, and they comforted.   Then as I entered into the evening, I was heading out to a benefit concert and I was able to see what I explained above... a FRIEND who though things have gotten in our way - who are paths have been off and it was cool.  We laughed and talked about horrible things she is experiencing, about things I am going through, we related we felt for each other.  It was just neat.  The night that I was bracing myself for actually turned out to be one of those ahhhhhh moments.

As I laid down for bed I just reflected on the whole day.  The great friends I have, the laughter shared, the memories made, the enchanted moments.   I am one lucky girl who is blessed daily with great people in my life.  I know this past year I have learned so much and I wish nothing but to be half the friend to those who I have in my life.

Baby

Days like today :/

Well I hit my big 22 weeks of pregnancy.  Felt like I got this in the bag.  Had a moment of hope - I called my Dr. office to see when my appointment will be next to find out I missed it! What?  This is a big ultrasound one for me. This is usually when the bad news happens.  I was really mad at myself but scheduled it for Monday the 28th and was on the free and clear!  Well... this morning I woke up and havent felt the baby all morning.  By 10 a.m. I always feel him moving around... it is almost down to a schedule and I felt nothing.  I didnt even feel pregnant.  I started to get really scared!  I just cleaned up the house, showered, shaved... texted Cameron and really tried to just let things be.  So 11:11 a.m. (if you know me this time of day I wish on daily) I got in the car, made a wish, and headed to the office.   Felt NOTHING.  As I was driving to pick up some items from the dollar store I began to cry --- what if this was it.  I know I have done this four times so I will be able to handle it and I am not going to go in because I cant change the results from today to Monday so I will just be patient.  Cameron started asking fifty questions; " Babe, why are you crying? " -- "how do you feel"  -- "what are you scared of" blah blah I didnt respond cuz when I cry I dont like to talk.   He flipped the car around and said we are going to the Dr. you are not going to go through this feeling scared.  I said to him babe this is just my reality.   He drove up the Dr. office and I just sat int he car while he talked with the nurse.  I texted my sister and just cried and cried and cried.  One I felt so stupid for going in, Two I hate that I dont have control of my emotions.  I always am in control of my emotions and I dont let myself fall weak. Three - what if this is going to be bad.  Cameron came out to the car and in we went for the appointment.  So as I walked in with RED EYES the nurse goes Jennifer--- I lost it, I just hate the attention all the emotions. I was a mess.  I walked back and every single person smiles and just says NOTHING they are as scared as you are!  I got up on the table, said sorry to the Ultrasound lady (who I love) and I just lifted the shirt and held my breath.   Jelly on the stomach, first thing you see is the head - well it has a head - next thing she says is there is his little heart beating away.  I just cried.  She measured his heartbeat and I just cried and cried.  She measured everything on him and said probably fifty times "he is PERFECT, everything looks great" --- just then Dr. Ott walks in and goes JJJJJJJJTTTTTTT how are things.  I said nothing.  Cameron talked a little and he and the ultrasound lady just spoke to one another.  Then he said do you have any questions, I began to cry again... he goes I love emotions.  He goes I missed you on Monday my heart skips a beat when I dont see you! I laughed!  Everything was fine.  The baby is fine, my fluid is fine, my heart is scared but everything is perfect!  The Ultrasound Lady (I need to get to know her name) goes hey we will see you in a few weeks or Monday if you want :) I said NO MONDAY I am fine - she goes well just in case you want you are always welcome.  As I walked out of the room I got applause from everyone.  I just laughed!  Of course my blood pressure was a little high but we have to stop taking it on days like today! They told me to get me some icecream and relax for the rest of the day!  So ---- that is the story of today :) It is only 1:46 am too :) HAHA!

Cute saying

We are watching American idol and a freak was on and as Hailey was playing with the phone and the girl sings hailey goes well she is a good singer but looks like a hobo. I said hailey what's a hobo and she goes that girl lol

22 baby

Stole this from my little sister!~ Thought it was cute so going to use it!!!

How far along?

 22 weeks today

Total weight gain/loss: 

Probably like 25 but its all in the chest well and belly

Maternity clothes? 

That isnt going to happen

Sleep: 

Not happening I am so freaking tired.  I wake up a MILLION times at night and cannot figure out why! 

Best moment this week:

I have "day best" moments not really "week" ones because it is all about feeling the baby move.  I get major anxiety if it doesn't.

Miss Anything?

I miss working out hard at CrossFit. I still do CrossFit but I have to modify and this girl does not like restrictions. 

Movement:

If not I force it with a shot of Mt.Dew you are welcome :) 

Food cravings: 

El Coyote - I seriously could eat it every single day

Anything making you queasy or sick:

Milk in any way shape or form. 

Have you started to show yet: 

Shoot I look ten months pregnant already! 

Gender: 

 I am hermi from here on out! Boy parts!!!

Labor Signs: 

Lots of contractions but that just puts me to bed for a few days so its all good

Belly Button in or out?

In - never had popped out on any pregnancy 

Happy or Moody most of the time:

I am happy but have to force it. I get depressed a lot but I think that is due to bed time and then I get too much thinking time then I get way emotional

Looking forward to: 

Having a baby live

What's New? 

I haven't bought one thing for the baby, I haven't even purchased an outfit.  Last time I lost a baby I chucked everything in the garbage and was angry for a really long time and I am scared to death this time and do NOT want to go through that again! So, I am really trying be OPTIMISTICALLY CAUTIOUS! 

Bears & Basketball

Braxton had a busy week, he recieved his BEAR in scouts.  I have NO idea what that even means but he got it and was sure excited about it :)   He also had a BIG basketball game which was against a perfectly matched team!   We WON!!!!   He is really enjoying his team this year and that is always fun for a Mom!!! 

Now wait for it....I got released :)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am no longer a 11-12 year old primary teacher! I was excited about this because they already released Cameron last week so I wasn't about to take on this calling  by myself!  Then I recieved a new calling as the Young Womens Secretary!  I am so excited about this calling.  I have ALWAYS wanted to be in young womens and couldn't ask for a better calling! No TALKING for me :) LOL! 

Have an amazing Sunday!!!

Cute quotes 1/15/2013

My little dork!!! Cameron reads to the kids to put them to sleep and the last two days he has been reading to Hailey and as he reads she will grab his arm and go okay Dad that is enough then leans over and falls asleep!  She is so funny!!!!

Get back into it...

I read my blog book at church the other day and decided I need to get back into BLOGGING! There are so many FUN moments I miss out on not writing a BLOG.  I would do a whole reflection over the last year but why do that when I got so much new stuff happening.  Live and Learn and LET GO of the past so we shall all move forward...

Cameron just got called into the Second Counselor of Young Mens so he is now the scout master.  He is so excited about that but more then ever our last year primary class is on cloud nine. 

Hailey is still dancing for Kalamity and this week she is performing with the Desert Hills Drill Team at the halftime show.  She loves her Chinese class and told us last night yesterday was her last day of being allowed to speak English in the class so her plan is to just sit there and be quiet! We will see how nice this works.

Awsten has joined Kalamity as well and is dancing in Boys Hip Hop with his Best Friend Parker Bourgoin. They have a ton of fun together and love their teacher Miss. Irene.   He is also starting up Paino again and just waiting for football to start back up!!!

Braxton has hit a whole new spelling level in his class. I had to call my Dad last night trying to figure out how to even say these words.  It is sort of hard to give a kid a verbal spelling test when you cant even say the words right.  I used to have a friend who always used big words and I always made fun of him and now I see maybe I am just the one who LACKED 4th grade haha!  He is playing basketball and his coach is from BYU Hawaii Basketball team and can dunk the ball so he thinks that is pretty cool.

For me, well, the pregnancy is at a point of scary moments.  I have one week left until I feel clear and so days of not feeling the baby move get the best of me.  I just down a Mt. Dew though and the baby goes wild.  We are stoked for the little boy inside us to come to this world.  Hailey talks to him daily which makes me so happy and feel good.  So far the Dr. says everything looks normal.  I have had a TON of cramping this last week but then I just go to bed rest when it happens and after two days it usually clears up.  I cant wait until Kalamity starts into new benefit shows so we can get this year going!!!

I really am going to try to keep up with the blog so I hope you all subscribe to it and enjoy!